A Satisfied Gustomer
A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.
"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "
"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."
"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.
"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "
"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"
"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"
“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "
"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"
Where Do You keep Yours?
The famous but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern.
Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner.
"Do you know what this means?"
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
We're in the Same Boat
The young man was terribly self-conscious because he had a wooden eye.
His friends would often invite him to dance parties,
but he could never work up the courage to ask a girl to dance.
But then, one evening, he spotted a girl With a wooden leg sitting sadly by herself.
Apprehensively, he walked up to her and asked,
"Would you like to dance?"
"Would I? ! " she exclaimed.
"Oh, yeah? Well, you've got a wooden leg!"