Change of Plan
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enterthe army.
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had alltheir teeth pulled.
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truckdriver cut in between them.
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he hadno teeth.
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it aroundthoroughly,
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
You Do Have a Problem
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
"And how are your bowel movements?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
"So what's the problem?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
Home Sweet Home
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "