Play Now Pay Later
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more thanfond memories.
First, he consulted a British doctor.
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have toamputate. "
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
At Least You Get a Choice
A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.
"I'll tell you how it works around here," declared a particularly hideous devil. "You get yourchoice of three punishments. Here's the first. "
The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boilingwater.
"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people beingcontinually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.
“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.
"Well,this seems all right," said the sinner."I'll take this one."And he joined the group.
No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out："OK, tea time's over. Get back onyour heads. "
Down on the Farm
The farmer was painting the inside of his outhouse,
when he slipped on the seat and fell into the hole beneath.
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.
Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,
"Where's the fire?"
"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,
"but would you have come if I'd yelled "Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "